2nd month, 2nd Week

It was an exciting and overwhelming 2 weeks since I started working with my new job. I love how the work is all about – competitiveness. I am not saying that I am competitive, but, it has been one of the things that I really wanted to do just right before my graduation.

Fears here, there and everywhere

While the job gives me the opportunity to go out and explore the archipelago by promoting advocacies and other projects, yet, I am afraid to lose my childish enthusiasm. I am afraid to get to the “adult” stage, of working, of doing things, of working out things.

Can I just be a child for a month?

I could still remember how childish I was during my volunteer placement. I did a lot of things which for others it was a lame and laid back thing, but not for me. Whenever I do something at work (today), I would always think that failure is essential, bloody red comments are pre-requisite, otherwise, you and I will never learn. I did and expecting to commit more mistakes while at work, not to pull out the “trainee/transition” card whenever I did something wrong, but, it is more of giving myself a leeway that things don’t work in the same pace, manner and for everyone-all at the same time.

Behind the corporate aura that most people have, I still think, try to consider, why do we need to conform to the existing norm? Why not make a new norm and work on it rather than break it? If we don’t break it can we make a new norm? (does this make any sense? I dunno).
It is the society that judge me? Or it is me who loves to entertain their comments? Do I need to dump my hiking gear just to conform their standards?

When you are afraid, things are going to get worse if you don’t do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are afraid that it keeps you from doing anything.

I am afraid-yes, like a child wandering and afraid of getting lost. But throughout the years of existence, I got lost, I learned my lessons the easy and hard way and there’s nothing wrong with that (unless you are part of the 90% who lives on the standards of the status quo). 

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Chasing for Nth Years

I Failed.

There was this nerve-wracking, heart pounding feeling days before I was able to know if I passed or failed in my exam. I have been wondering, and thinking, why I failed? What are the mistakes that I committed during the exam?

Should I give up or should I keep on chasing?

Like a popular song Chasing Pavements by Adele, having the results flashing and dashing on my computer screen made me think if it is a sign to give up my Japanese language studies and shift to French of Spanish instead. I even hit the button from my facebook friend and told her about the result. I want to cry at that moment. So down and thought of grabbing a drink till dawn, yet, I reckon. As my friend told me, move on, move forward, it is just a test of your knowledge; it happened you’re not that prepared when you took the exam. (which was true).

I am really eager to pass this exam, and thought that if I pass the exam this year, I will pursue the higher level of proficiency of Japanese language, if not, I told myself that I will give up on this, there is no point of continuing something that you can not really be good at- even several years has been dedicated into.

I am also aware that the chance of passing the exam is quite low. Right after my application, I wasn’t able to take the proper preparations for this, even memorizing kanji and vocabs made me turn up-side down during the exam.

Mom, I failed.

When I told my mom about the results, she said, it is okay, see the better side of that. You can still take the exam next year (which is true), you can take proper classes for this since your office is just across the school (another reality, yes), so what’s the point of getting down?

After closing the doors that lead you nowhere, throw away the key! Because our tendency is to look back and regret. – Paulo Coelho.

I am closing now the door of regrets, of what if’s, of how I wish I passed this exam. I will now open a new door – door of better opportunities to become a new if not renewed person. It is not constrained on my Japanese Language Proficiency exam results, but I think it is seeing a lot of positivity in life.

In general, I was able to have a nice job 3 days right after my 3 months of volunteer experience. I left the job and found another one waiting for me to start. I have a part time job (with a fellow) and gives me a lot of adventures and loads of travels. There is really no reason to get down, but a sense of move forward, because tomorrow is another day to face.

Will I still continue my Japanese Language? Yes, I will, I will not get mad on the results, but it should served me as a motivation to move on and make it a serious deal now, or else, I will never get forward with this.

nihongo no benkyou

Nihongo no Benkyou

For the past (5) five years and counting, I am fond of Japanese Language and culture; I even have a separate entry in this blog about my Japanese affair.

This entry is about the upcoming Japanese Language Proficiency Test which will commence on (7th) day of December. This year will be the most challenging year for me since last year, I took Level 3 and wasn’t able to wing it. I’ll take Level 4 and hoping to pass even I will study while on field work.

Yep! you read it right! I’ll be off to work in the next three (3) months. It will commence on 12th day of September until 5th day of December which gives me only the 6th day to wrap up the lessons that I have in mind (if I can still remember).

To give you an idea what JLPT is, below is the summary of competencies for every level of the JLPT.

http://www.jlpt.jp/e/about/levelsummary.html:

Why take the JLPT, IELTS, TOEIC and other foreign language tests?

1. Well, we are living in an interrelated, connected world, taking advantage to communicate in a language that is beyond your mother tongue gives you an idea that we are not constrained with English, Spanish and even French. Though I admit, Japanese gives me both a heart and headache, learning the language makes me comfortable. I can talk to a Japanese fellow, and introduce myself, though, due to cross cultural communications(mis) there are some restrictions and prohibitions.

2. According to Technical Skills and Development Authority (http://twc.tesda.gov.ph/page.aspx?page_id=689), the next hot job will be those in multilingual environment.

3. Learning and be able to adapt to new culture and environment.

Whatever the reason you love to learn foreign language, be sure you really love it and have the interest to finish it, use it as if it is your second tongue, unless you want to start over again.

Reference:

http://www.tesda.gov.ph/clear.aspx?page_id=40

http://www.jlpt.jp/e/

日本語 で 話します

日本語 で 話します

今日、私の せんせい と どうきゅせい は 日本語 で 話しました。ときどき 私は、ふたり で、その ことば の いみ を わかりません。でも、少し、ことば の いみ を わかります。

毎週、私の 先生 は 日本語 で 話して ください と 言うました。

でも、私は 日本語 は ふ勉強 が あります。そして、私は、しゅみ の 日本語 を 勉強します。しゅみ の べんきょう は、じんだい が ちがいます。私は べんきょう が ある、いつも むずかしい を 考えています。

しかし、たこくせききぎょう は、日本 会社 に とくべつ は、 大臣 の 日本語 を 話します。私の 大学 の 専門 は、国際 関係 でした。専門 葉、外交 の、 たいへん です から、仕事 が、 みに さがしません。

ほうか の ひと は いつも 日本語 の して すごい ですね。 しかし、 ほうか の ひと は もし しれば 私は 日本語 を べんきょうして、私は すごい と 考えて います。私は、しんぱい ですから、私の 日本語 は まだ じょうず では ありません。

多い 人 は わたしの にほんご を れんしゅうと 言うました。そして、今年 私は 日本語 の 勉強 を つずけたい と 思うています。

がんばります!!!!!!J